This is what Joanne said to me. Even though she is doing so well, it is still a daily struggle. We gauge how well she is doing, but the starting point is '0'. Before the stroke she was 110. She has regained so much and I thank God for that, but so much was taken away. After all the visitors leave, after the light conversations and small talk, life goes on. Dealing with the day to day needs of a family. Homework, laundry, cleaning up a spilled glass of milk, consoling hurt feelings, redirecting an argument, expressing your feelings of joy or sadness, disappointment or optimism.
Buttering a bagel with one hand, opening a jar or bottle, pulling on a pair of pants, tying your shoe. It is a battle every day.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
HELLO 2008
We say good bye to 2007 and look forward to the new challenges of 2008. Joanne has come so far in such a short time. The past two months however, does seem like an eternity. She had what I am calling a "growth spurt" on Thursday. She was getting more sensation in her hand and it was noticeably stronger and more responsive. In the evening after an OT session, she was pouring milk for dinner, saying, "Hey, look at me!", as she was doing a little dance around the table. She was like a child with a new toy. She kept walking around picking things up. It was very exciting to see. She is rather frustrated at the prospect of not being able to drive for a while. And she is bothered at times with the inability to find the right words. I know she does not want to be defined as a person who had a stoke. It certainly is not who she is, it is just something that happened to her. She is so determined to regain her speech and her strength. Her determination is truly an inspiration. Joanne has been so strong though this and had risen to each challenge with such grace. We have had our share of tears. I am sometimes surprised by the tears, since she has been so strong. I am very proud of her for staying focused and for saying, "I don't like this, but it happened and I need to work until I get well."
I keep thinking of, Romans 8:28 and 8:32, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.", "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" What good comes from someone having a stroke? What good comes from a family turned upside down? What good comes from a husband thinking that his wife may not live through the next day? Luke 11:11-13, "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?"
We may never know what ultimate good God has caused by Joanne having a stroke, but I know that He has been present in our home, like a dear friend, laughing with us and crying with us and just being with us. I can say with absolute certainty that I have almost literally felt Him carrying me along. He put people in our life who where there to help us physically, emotionally and spiritually. I would much rather if Joanne had not had a stroke, but she did, and I am so thankful that we have a loving God to rely on. I wouldn't have been able to get through this challenge without His help.
I keep thinking of, Romans 8:28 and 8:32, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.", "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" What good comes from someone having a stroke? What good comes from a family turned upside down? What good comes from a husband thinking that his wife may not live through the next day? Luke 11:11-13, "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?"
We may never know what ultimate good God has caused by Joanne having a stroke, but I know that He has been present in our home, like a dear friend, laughing with us and crying with us and just being with us. I can say with absolute certainty that I have almost literally felt Him carrying me along. He put people in our life who where there to help us physically, emotionally and spiritually. I would much rather if Joanne had not had a stroke, but she did, and I am so thankful that we have a loving God to rely on. I wouldn't have been able to get through this challenge without His help.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
POST CHRISTMAS UPDATE
Well, the past two weeks since the visit with the neurosurgeon has been a very busy time. With me back at work, it hasn't left me much time to keep up with my entries. My entire office has been very supportive. They have made my transition back so much more manageable. I want to thank everyone in my team for stepping up and working so hard to enable me to leave early each night. Being back at work certainly adds another level of challenges to the mix. It has been and will continue to be a big adjustment for all of us.
Joanne continues to work hard and improve every day. She is determined not to let anything slow her down. She was wrapping presents and tying bows just before Christmas. She worked a little more slowly than past years, but she worked very hard to convince her right hand to help with the wrapping. I sorely missed her writing out all the envelopes for our Christmas cards this year, but under her guidance, I was able to type and print them. If I tried to write them, no one would have gotten a card this year. I apologize to anyone reading this who was expecting a card but did not receive one. We had a wonderful Christmas. Quiet time at home in the morning, then a casual dinner a her sister Susan's. I am so happy that we were all together.
Joanne will be continuing her speech and occupational therapy well into the new year. With all of the holiday visits, I think she has done an amazing job talking with everyone. I have noticed that I am filling in a lot of the blacks for her and finishing her sentences when she gets stuck on a word. I am trying to stop that, but I think I am trying to be protective of her. She is a little self conscious when we are around people we don't know very well or if she is talking to a store clerk. When she tells people she had a stroke eight weeks ago, everyone's jaw drops in disbelief. She still mixes up our names, but I think she did that before too. Her choice of words is often funny and not quite right for her meaning, but we can usually figure out what she means.
We received a call early in the morning on Christmas eve. I was rather put off that someone could be so inconsiderate to call us at 8:15am on Christmas eve. It was the social worker from the rehab calling to inform us that she was working out an agreement with our insurance company to cover the cost of the occupational therapy. I didn't mind the early call after all. I have made dozens of phone calls, faxed and emailed and now it seems to be finally working out. And as soon as January 1st comes, I get to start all over again. We are 'fortunate' that this happened at he end of the year. By fortunate, I mean that we used up the 30 visit out patient benefit for the calendar year and start fresh at the beginning of the new year. It still may not cover all of her visits, but I can't image what we would have done if the insurance didn't work out like this. God has provided so abundantly through this entire situation. I don't know how people can do it without Him.
Joanne continues to work hard and improve every day. She is determined not to let anything slow her down. She was wrapping presents and tying bows just before Christmas. She worked a little more slowly than past years, but she worked very hard to convince her right hand to help with the wrapping. I sorely missed her writing out all the envelopes for our Christmas cards this year, but under her guidance, I was able to type and print them. If I tried to write them, no one would have gotten a card this year. I apologize to anyone reading this who was expecting a card but did not receive one. We had a wonderful Christmas. Quiet time at home in the morning, then a casual dinner a her sister Susan's. I am so happy that we were all together.
Joanne will be continuing her speech and occupational therapy well into the new year. With all of the holiday visits, I think she has done an amazing job talking with everyone. I have noticed that I am filling in a lot of the blacks for her and finishing her sentences when she gets stuck on a word. I am trying to stop that, but I think I am trying to be protective of her. She is a little self conscious when we are around people we don't know very well or if she is talking to a store clerk. When she tells people she had a stroke eight weeks ago, everyone's jaw drops in disbelief. She still mixes up our names, but I think she did that before too. Her choice of words is often funny and not quite right for her meaning, but we can usually figure out what she means.
We received a call early in the morning on Christmas eve. I was rather put off that someone could be so inconsiderate to call us at 8:15am on Christmas eve. It was the social worker from the rehab calling to inform us that she was working out an agreement with our insurance company to cover the cost of the occupational therapy. I didn't mind the early call after all. I have made dozens of phone calls, faxed and emailed and now it seems to be finally working out. And as soon as January 1st comes, I get to start all over again. We are 'fortunate' that this happened at he end of the year. By fortunate, I mean that we used up the 30 visit out patient benefit for the calendar year and start fresh at the beginning of the new year. It still may not cover all of her visits, but I can't image what we would have done if the insurance didn't work out like this. God has provided so abundantly through this entire situation. I don't know how people can do it without Him.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
TUESDAY'S DOCTOR VISIT
We met with Dr Ronald Benitez, the neurosurgeon who preformed the procedure on Joanne after her stroke. He is one of only three surgeons in New Jersey who do this surgery. He was encouraged by her progress. Whenever they perform these surgeries, they assess the tools, potential implants and the patients needs. He said they really pushed the envelope with Joanne. She had the worst dissection of a carotid artery he has ever seen. She is only one of two or three patients who have received these stints to stabilize the artery. They are truly on the cutting edge of this technology.
He also said he was going to call the neurologist from the ER to commend him on his course of treatment. Normally someone who presented with Joanne's symptoms would not be treated, considering the fact that she had improved so dramatically during her ER visit. Typically they would dismiss it as a TIA, or mini-stroke that just corrected itself. We are so fortunate that they decided to admit her and ultimately, to contact Dr. Benitez. As we look back, we can see how God ordered things to happen this way. It truly is a miracle.
We learned that it will most likely be 3-6 months before she can consider driving again. She is not too happy about that. He told us that the next three months to a year, we will see the most improvement is her condition. He felt that she will be in great shape considering how far se has improved in just six weeks.
Joanne will continue to go three times a week for speech and occupational therapy. She is making great progress! She can pick up items with her right hand and is getting more strength in her arm. Her speech is improving day by day, sometimes hour by hour. We do still have some difficult times. While we were in the waiting room today she asked me something about a popsicle stick. She said, "What's that? A popsicle stick? What am I talking about?" God bless her for being able to laugh about these things. I'm not sure that I would be.
He also said he was going to call the neurologist from the ER to commend him on his course of treatment. Normally someone who presented with Joanne's symptoms would not be treated, considering the fact that she had improved so dramatically during her ER visit. Typically they would dismiss it as a TIA, or mini-stroke that just corrected itself. We are so fortunate that they decided to admit her and ultimately, to contact Dr. Benitez. As we look back, we can see how God ordered things to happen this way. It truly is a miracle.
We learned that it will most likely be 3-6 months before she can consider driving again. She is not too happy about that. He told us that the next three months to a year, we will see the most improvement is her condition. He felt that she will be in great shape considering how far se has improved in just six weeks.
Joanne will continue to go three times a week for speech and occupational therapy. She is making great progress! She can pick up items with her right hand and is getting more strength in her arm. Her speech is improving day by day, sometimes hour by hour. We do still have some difficult times. While we were in the waiting room today she asked me something about a popsicle stick. She said, "What's that? A popsicle stick? What am I talking about?" God bless her for being able to laugh about these things. I'm not sure that I would be.
Monday, December 10, 2007
LEAVING NOTES FOR JOANNE
Terry here. I realize since Joanne is home now, many of you have had the opportunity to visit her, to call her and send notes to her home address. But I also wanted to make everyone aware that Joanne now logs onto the blog herself and reads comments. So... in light of this, and the fact that Paul is back to work, and all of us are entering the busy Christmas season, I wanted to encourage everyone to keep the comments coming. I know how much she loves reading your thoughts, prayers and encouraging words. Thank you for continuing to invest your time into our dear sister!!!
Sunday, December 9, 2007
WEEKEND UPDATE
Well, I'm off to work. It is going to be a huge adjustment for both Joanne and I, with me going back to work. Although I plan to leave a little earlier each day, it will definitely add another challenge to the mix. We are all set up with rides to and from therapy. Friends, (the best friends in the entire world), are coming over to do laundry, shop and run errands as needed. So I expect this to be a smooth transition. I guess I am feeling a little protective and I'm not quite ready to leave.
We went for a short shopping trip this weekend and we picked up our Christmas tree as well. We decorated the house and tree. Even though we are so happy that Jo is home and doing so well, the tone was a little solemn. I think we all felt the difference in how much Joanne could and couldn't do. She has always been the executive in chief when it comes to decorating, so we were only running at half steam.
Please continue to lift her up in prayer so that she will not become discouraged or depressed. She has a long battle still ahead and she will need the endurance to get through this. Pray that I will have the endurance as well to be helpful, understanding and patient. Each day offers great hope and great challenges, we need to stay on track and not become discouraged.
We went for a short shopping trip this weekend and we picked up our Christmas tree as well. We decorated the house and tree. Even though we are so happy that Jo is home and doing so well, the tone was a little solemn. I think we all felt the difference in how much Joanne could and couldn't do. She has always been the executive in chief when it comes to decorating, so we were only running at half steam.
Please continue to lift her up in prayer so that she will not become discouraged or depressed. She has a long battle still ahead and she will need the endurance to get through this. Pray that I will have the endurance as well to be helpful, understanding and patient. Each day offers great hope and great challenges, we need to stay on track and not become discouraged.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
MY DRAWINGS by Joanne Budd
As I establish and wince and see a pinch of tan beneath it with color. My draws one are on colors, pink crayon and tan. I cannot stop off me for this smartest allow for me the color. I draw immediately for me senses me arouse.
Joanne is able to speak so well and yet, when she tries to put her thoughts in writing she often comes up with rather poetic prose.
Joanne is able to speak so well and yet, when she tries to put her thoughts in writing she often comes up with rather poetic prose.
Thursday, December 6th
Chloe tells her superior Nadia Yassir that she got a weird military request from Homeland Security. Nadia confirms that this is the assault on Assad. They will find him by using Jack Bauer. Chloe is surprised when Nadia tells her that President Palmer negotiated the release of Jack from a Chinese prison. Nadia refuses to give Chloe any more information, but says that Buchanan is meeting Jack at an airfield.
Now that Joanne is leading a relatively normal life, I thought I needed spice up the entries with a little action, courtesy of 24 season six. Jo is continuing to make strides. Her speech therapist is teaching her to slow down and systematically plan what she wants to say. You can imagine how difficult that is, especially for Joanne who is a go, go, go, type A, get things done quickly, kind of gal. As our life is getting back to normal, Joanne is becoming more involved with everyday chores. She is helping the kids with homework, but they do need to be watchful of her "help", since she still tends to say the wrong words and calls us each by the wrong name. It can be very confusing to Isabel, when Joanne is emphatically saying, "Oliver, OLIVER, why don't you look at me when I talk to you?" The teary answer, "I'm Isabel." We are fortunate that somehow I am able to know what she is trying to say. I suppose 17 years of marriage has paid off. I know that she is starting to feel out of touch and out of control of some things. I have begun doing the Christmas shopping which she usually does the lion's share. She teased me yesterday when I said I finished shopping for the kids, she said, "That's good. You never shop before December 24."
Please continue to pray that Joanne will not become discouraged. She is very bothered by the fact that her hand isn't working and that she comes out with crazy words. Pray that I will remain patient when trying to understand her when she really isn't making sense and I am distracted by other things I need to take care of. And Pray that the children will not see her in any lesser way as their mother and as an authority over them. The fact that she mixes up her words, often makes us laugh, but I see that it can also lessen her ability to be authoritative with the kids. As always, thank you so much for your continued support of our family during this crazy journey.
Now that Joanne is leading a relatively normal life, I thought I needed spice up the entries with a little action, courtesy of 24 season six. Jo is continuing to make strides. Her speech therapist is teaching her to slow down and systematically plan what she wants to say. You can imagine how difficult that is, especially for Joanne who is a go, go, go, type A, get things done quickly, kind of gal. As our life is getting back to normal, Joanne is becoming more involved with everyday chores. She is helping the kids with homework, but they do need to be watchful of her "help", since she still tends to say the wrong words and calls us each by the wrong name. It can be very confusing to Isabel, when Joanne is emphatically saying, "Oliver, OLIVER, why don't you look at me when I talk to you?" The teary answer, "I'm Isabel." We are fortunate that somehow I am able to know what she is trying to say. I suppose 17 years of marriage has paid off. I know that she is starting to feel out of touch and out of control of some things. I have begun doing the Christmas shopping which she usually does the lion's share. She teased me yesterday when I said I finished shopping for the kids, she said, "That's good. You never shop before December 24."
Please continue to pray that Joanne will not become discouraged. She is very bothered by the fact that her hand isn't working and that she comes out with crazy words. Pray that I will remain patient when trying to understand her when she really isn't making sense and I am distracted by other things I need to take care of. And Pray that the children will not see her in any lesser way as their mother and as an authority over them. The fact that she mixes up her words, often makes us laugh, but I see that it can also lessen her ability to be authoritative with the kids. As always, thank you so much for your continued support of our family during this crazy journey.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Tuesday, December 4th
"I praise you because you are my favorite." I'm your favorite? "No, I praise you because you are my favorite with the children." This was our conversation on the way to therapy. I still don't know what she really meant, since we both gave up shortly after that and moved onto something else. Although Joanne is doing so well and improving every day, as we start to get into a 'normal' routine, it can sometimes be difficult to communicate in a completely normal way. I am finding that my own patience is being challenged now. I am accustomed to Joanne being ten paces in front and checking off the third item on the to do list, before I have even processed the list myself. I am finding that I have to stop what I am doing and focus on what she is trying to say. I guess it's God working on MY need to slow down and not be so task driven now.
This week will be my last full week home before returning to work. I am using the time to finalize all the therapy sessions for the upcoming weeks, confirming rides to and from and arranging for someone to be with Joanne during the day. She doesn't really need anyone there to help, but I think it is good for her not to be completely alone during the day. I am also
using this week to take care of all those annoying extra task. I broke a tooth a couple of weeks ago and have been holding off on having it fixed until we were settled at home. The dog needs to go to the vet and I need to do few things around the house. I had such grand plans for all the things I was going to do once Joanne was home...I haven't started a single one. But, there is always later... tomorrow... next week.
It has been nice having visitors. We do enjoy opening our home to guests. I have enjoyed seeing Joanne sitting with a cup of tea talking to friends. As you all know, she is always so busy even at home, that she rarely would sit long enough to have a talk over tea. I do have one small request regarding the wonderful meals we are receiving, and that is, please don't bring so much. We can't eat as much as is being made. Our freezer is full and I don't want to waste the food. And at the risk of sounding ungrateful, please no more spaghetti and ziti. We can't possibly eat all of the huge pans you have all so thoughtfully made for us. But, thank you, thank you for being so generous and so loving to our family during this time. I am still amazed at the out pouring of love we continue to receive. I think I mentioned this before, with all the things everyone is doing for us, all the praying for us, all the encouraging words and talk about the blog, Isabel said, "It's like we are famous or something." But I told her we are not famous... just loved. Keep praying for us because it is what is keeping us going. Prayer. Does a body good.
This week will be my last full week home before returning to work. I am using the time to finalize all the therapy sessions for the upcoming weeks, confirming rides to and from and arranging for someone to be with Joanne during the day. She doesn't really need anyone there to help, but I think it is good for her not to be completely alone during the day. I am also
using this week to take care of all those annoying extra task. I broke a tooth a couple of weeks ago and have been holding off on having it fixed until we were settled at home. The dog needs to go to the vet and I need to do few things around the house. I had such grand plans for all the things I was going to do once Joanne was home...I haven't started a single one. But, there is always later... tomorrow... next week.
It has been nice having visitors. We do enjoy opening our home to guests. I have enjoyed seeing Joanne sitting with a cup of tea talking to friends. As you all know, she is always so busy even at home, that she rarely would sit long enough to have a talk over tea. I do have one small request regarding the wonderful meals we are receiving, and that is, please don't bring so much. We can't eat as much as is being made. Our freezer is full and I don't want to waste the food. And at the risk of sounding ungrateful, please no more spaghetti and ziti. We can't possibly eat all of the huge pans you have all so thoughtfully made for us. But, thank you, thank you for being so generous and so loving to our family during this time. I am still amazed at the out pouring of love we continue to receive. I think I mentioned this before, with all the things everyone is doing for us, all the praying for us, all the encouraging words and talk about the blog, Isabel said, "It's like we are famous or something." But I told her we are not famous... just loved. Keep praying for us because it is what is keeping us going. Prayer. Does a body good.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Monday, December 3rd
Hello everyone. Terry here. Just a quick note about the meal calendar. Some time ago I revised the instructions for signing up to make a meal, however, there is still on-going confusion. In the event you did not see my note, I'd like to restate it here. The calendar was created for viewing purposes only. If you attempt to add your name to a day, only you will see it. In order to secure your date, and allow everyone else to view your name on the calendar, you will need to call one of the 3 contacts listed under the "Make a Meal" section. Only the 3 of us have the capability to schedule. There have been a few occasions where the Budd's received multiple meals because individuals thought they signed themselves onto the calendar. I apologize for the confusion.
Regardless of all of this... the Budd's are loving the meals! Thank you for your on-going expression of love... through food!!!
~Terry
Regardless of all of this... the Budd's are loving the meals! Thank you for your on-going expression of love... through food!!!
~Terry
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Sunday, December 2nd
It's amazing how the simple things become so significant. Tonight, after her shower, Isabel came downstairs and proudly announced, "Mommy blow dried my hair all by herself." Joanne was able to hold the blow dryer in her right hand. For the rest of us, this is no big deal, but for Joanne, this is huge. Now, Izzy's hair wasn't really all that dry, but the fact that Jo was able to do it at all was amazing. When we all sat down on the couch after this, Joanne proudly stated, "I am proud of the new dress.", which translates to, "I am so happy that I was able to dry Isabel's hair." Aside from the fact that Joanne keeps calling us all by the wrong names, her speech is coming along a little each day.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Saturday, December 1st
Our first full week home has been filled with a few new challenges and an enormous amount of progress. During speech on Friday, Joanne had the therapist laughing at her sentences. "We do not do coffee brewing in the bathroom.", "The bathtub is like a large sink.", "The paintbrush had a lot of sage green paint.", and my favorite, "A spider, so lonely, turns its web." She continues to make us laugh with her word play. A few of the exercises she was working on was to list colors, fruit, vegetables, tools, etc. She doesn't just say, red, blue, green, she says, "plum red, carillon blue, sage green". The therapist keeps commenting on the fact that she consistently uses these descriptive words. No wonder she is having some trouble speaking, she is searching for the right adjective to express herself, classic Joanne. All three kids slept over the Grattagliano's, so we went to dinner together after an afternoon speech session. I think the children are going to look back at this time and think, "We had so much fun when mommy had stroke." Thank you to all our dear friends who have to willingly taken such good care of the children. The Boch's, the Diquattro's, the Hastings', the Hutzel's, the White's and more. I don't know how we would have gotten through this and continue to get through, without all your help and support. While Jo was in the hospital and rehab, I would be handed a list at the beginning of each week which told me who was taking the kids to school, who picked them up from school, who was doing homework with them and what time they would be coming home for dinner.
Joanne is beginning to have more control of her right hand. She is able to open and close her hand and has quite a good grip. The thumb is the last hold out, but seeing her progress, I am certain that is not too far behind. I will be taking one more week off before returning to work. I will still need to take a couple of random days off and leave a little earlier than usual for the next few weeks. I am so thankful that my office has been so supportive, understanding and compassionate about our situation. As hard as all of this has been, we have been blessed in so many ways by so many people. I have said several times that we can so clearly see God using this for His glory, but I wish he didn't choose my wife to do it. But...He knows best!
It's real.
Joanne is beginning to have more control of her right hand. She is able to open and close her hand and has quite a good grip. The thumb is the last hold out, but seeing her progress, I am certain that is not too far behind. I will be taking one more week off before returning to work. I will still need to take a couple of random days off and leave a little earlier than usual for the next few weeks. I am so thankful that my office has been so supportive, understanding and compassionate about our situation. As hard as all of this has been, we have been blessed in so many ways by so many people. I have said several times that we can so clearly see God using this for His glory, but I wish he didn't choose my wife to do it. But...He knows best!
It's real.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Thursday, November 29th
Poor Joanne. She has a handful of phrases that she gets stuck on all the time. As she is talking, she will say, "It's real", "I noticed" and mixes up he and she, which makes for some very funny conversations. The kids and I need to be sure we don't jest too much about this. Sometimes we can laugh about it, but if she is trying to express something more important, she gets angry if we joke about it. Her speech therapist has banned her from using,'cool', 'groovy' and 'thing', when she is working on her sentence writing project. She was trying to get away with sentences such as: The pencil is a cool thing.... The table was groovy. As she would say this, she would be looking up at the therapist out of the corner of her eye in a mischievous way. She knows it's not right, but is playfully trying to get away with it. We walked through the entire Garden State mall Wednesday after therapy. She was intimidated at first, and I think a little self conscious about her hand and limited speech. She was feeling pressure to start Christmas shopping, but for the most part we just window shopped. It was a challenge for me to walk by her side. In the past she would be ten paces in front of me, but now she was ten behind. I had a mission to accomplish... We will get through this mall! But Joanne was more interested in strolling and browsing. We walked for almost three hours. She was exhausted. We got home and she crashed on the couch for an hour till the kids came home from school. As usual, she jumps right in and tries to help.
As always, thank you all so much for everything you continue to do for us. It's real!
As always, thank you all so much for everything you continue to do for us. It's real!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Tuesday, November 27th
I apologize if I am ranting on this entry. I am a little fried today...
This is harder than I thought it would be. It's great having Jo home, but I think it was easier when she was in rehab and all we needed to do was push the nurse button when she needed something. Doing homework with the kids and helping Joanne with her speech therapy assignments. Today both Sam and Oliver where home with coughs and sore throats. Joanne had one too so we were off to the doctor with her this afternoon. Joanne's speech homework was a page of pictures which she needed to identify and write a simple sentence containing the word. Words such as fork, pencil, table and cat are proving to be a great challenge to put into a sentence. She cried with frustration at how hard it was to do this and yet she was able to speak relatively clearly to the doctor today. I am struggling to find the balance of taking care of things around the house and stopping to listen to figure out what Joanne wants to say. Trying to schedule therapy sessions and get insurance approval, I have spent hours on the phone with insurance only to go around full circle back to where I started. We did receive some good news about her speech therapy. The insurance company agreed to pay for ten visits even though the rehab is not in their network. That will get us through till the end of the year, when we get to start over with the insurance paper chase. Hopefully I will be able to get approval for the OT as well and get off the phone for a little while. I am getting tired of talking and saying the same story over and over.
~Paul
This is harder than I thought it would be. It's great having Jo home, but I think it was easier when she was in rehab and all we needed to do was push the nurse button when she needed something. Doing homework with the kids and helping Joanne with her speech therapy assignments. Today both Sam and Oliver where home with coughs and sore throats. Joanne had one too so we were off to the doctor with her this afternoon. Joanne's speech homework was a page of pictures which she needed to identify and write a simple sentence containing the word. Words such as fork, pencil, table and cat are proving to be a great challenge to put into a sentence. She cried with frustration at how hard it was to do this and yet she was able to speak relatively clearly to the doctor today. I am struggling to find the balance of taking care of things around the house and stopping to listen to figure out what Joanne wants to say. Trying to schedule therapy sessions and get insurance approval, I have spent hours on the phone with insurance only to go around full circle back to where I started. We did receive some good news about her speech therapy. The insurance company agreed to pay for ten visits even though the rehab is not in their network. That will get us through till the end of the year, when we get to start over with the insurance paper chase. Hopefully I will be able to get approval for the OT as well and get off the phone for a little while. I am getting tired of talking and saying the same story over and over.
~Paul
Monday, November 26, 2007
Monday, November 26th
Joanne is continuing to improve. She had her first outpatient sessions today, which were very productive. She is working very hard to get the strength back in her right arm and is working even harder to make her hand work. They keep telling us it just takes time, but it can be hard to wait and it is still very frustrating for her. Her speech is improving as well, but is still a big hurtle. The kids are trying their best to understand what she says, but there are a lot of confused looks in the house. I think it must be like having a foreign exchange student, except we don't speak their language. I have to file an appeal to our health insurance to cover the therapy. The rehab is not in network and at the moment is not covered. I just want to be sure she gets the treatment she needs, so if I need to jump through a few hoops, then so be it.
~Paul
~Paul
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Saturday, November 24th
We certainly have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. Joanne came home Wednesday afternoon where she was greeted by a 'Welcome Home Mommy' sign. Lots of hugs and love pasted around. Thanksgiving day was spent at Susan and Greg's. The cousins played together as usual. We sat together and shared a delicious Thanksgiving meal. It was unbelievable to think that two weeks ago, we weren't sure if Joanne was going to survive and there we were eating dinner together as if nothing had happened. A full day out was exhausting, but I think it was good to be out. The kids and I are trying our best to understand everything Joanne says. Her speech is continuing to improve, but it is still a challenge for her to speak her mind. Her right hand is still not cooperating yet. She is doing exercises to strengthen her arm and hand. She'll be going three times a week for out patient speech and OT. Please continue to pray for complete healing of Joanne's speech and hand. Pray that the children and I won't become frustrated by our inability to understand what Joanne is saying. And pray that I will be able to care for Joanne, the kids, house, dog and myself without going completely insane. Thank you all for your continued assistance with meals, yard work, laundry, cleaning and your financial support. As Joanne keeps saying, "It's real","It's crazy" and "Unbelievable".
~Paul
~Paul
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Tuesday, November 20th
Written last night by Paul:
Joanne realized today that she won't be able to drive for a while and that really hit her hard. She questioned both her OT and PT therapists. They both were encouraging, but no one really knows how long it will be until she can drive and that wasn't answer she wanted to hear. She was shuttled back to Overlook for a follow up CAT scan. She was a little uneasy on the ride over. I can't blame her. She was strapped in a wheelchair, which was then strapped to the floor of the transport van. The driver was nice enough, but since it was her first time out since the stroke, I think she was disoriented, especially with the snow. She became frightened just before the scan, but a quick prayer and some distracting small talk got her through. She became upset with me when I was explaining to the driver that she had had a massive stroke. I was bragging a little about how well she was doing, but she didn't like me saying it that way. I will need to be more sensitive to that in the future.
Her speech therapy is improving. She is identifying things she could not identify last week. She is speaking in more complete thoughts. It's odd how she can't identify a fork, knife and spoon correctly, yet she can name the artist, (French, Spanish, Dutch, etc.), of painting she has studied in art history. We are preparing for her departure on Wednesday and trying to find outpatient rehab which is closer to home and will offer the best therapy. She will need to focus on speech and OT, which is building upper body strength and developing the typical skills for daily living, showering,getting dressed, preparing a meal, (just for her, not the family) and so on. She is a little nervous about it, but I am certain that once she is home she will improve even more. Thank you all for your cards and gifts.
Joanne realized today that she won't be able to drive for a while and that really hit her hard. She questioned both her OT and PT therapists. They both were encouraging, but no one really knows how long it will be until she can drive and that wasn't answer she wanted to hear. She was shuttled back to Overlook for a follow up CAT scan. She was a little uneasy on the ride over. I can't blame her. She was strapped in a wheelchair, which was then strapped to the floor of the transport van. The driver was nice enough, but since it was her first time out since the stroke, I think she was disoriented, especially with the snow. She became frightened just before the scan, but a quick prayer and some distracting small talk got her through. She became upset with me when I was explaining to the driver that she had had a massive stroke. I was bragging a little about how well she was doing, but she didn't like me saying it that way. I will need to be more sensitive to that in the future.
Her speech therapy is improving. She is identifying things she could not identify last week. She is speaking in more complete thoughts. It's odd how she can't identify a fork, knife and spoon correctly, yet she can name the artist, (French, Spanish, Dutch, etc.), of painting she has studied in art history. We are preparing for her departure on Wednesday and trying to find outpatient rehab which is closer to home and will offer the best therapy. She will need to focus on speech and OT, which is building upper body strength and developing the typical skills for daily living, showering,getting dressed, preparing a meal, (just for her, not the family) and so on. She is a little nervous about it, but I am certain that once she is home she will improve even more. Thank you all for your cards and gifts.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Monday, November 19th
A note from Paul:
It's been a busy weekend. Jo had back to back therapy Saturday morning, which pooped her out for the rest of the day. Sunday was filled with visitors - which I think was great. We had the kids in for a visit and again they didn't want to leave. She was tired by the end of the night, but I think it was like a day long therapy session. The Tanis family and Sundquists blessed us with an evening of songs and hymns which was the perfect end to the day. Joanne can get her point across, but has a hard time choosing the right words. We were naming fruit from a fruit basket, I held up an orange and she said, "It's an orange." I asked her what color it was and she said, "green?" It's crazy. She'll often get stuck on the same word and can't say anything else. She keeps dismissing it with a laugh and smile though. Everyone who visits her tells her how great she looks, which she does. But I don't recommend the stroke diet, it has a few unwanted side effects. Her right side continues to get stronger. She is starting to get a little grip in her right hand and a little wrist control. Her right arm still needs some work, but it's improving. I think the area which needs the most improvement will be her speech. She will be checking out of Hotel Rehab on Wednesday around 10am and goes straight to speech and OT. We need to speak to the docs to determine how much she will have as an out patient. Please keep the cards and prayers coming. They both have an amazing healing property. I know I need the prayers, because I am really tired and the only way I am getting through this is by being upheld by your prayers. I spend the day going through all the therapy with her and she is often more focused than I am. It seems so small for me to say "thank you" to everyone for all you are doing for us, but just like Jo, I can't find the right words. So for now I'll just say her favorite words: "I believe" and "unbelievable".
It's been a busy weekend. Jo had back to back therapy Saturday morning, which pooped her out for the rest of the day. Sunday was filled with visitors - which I think was great. We had the kids in for a visit and again they didn't want to leave. She was tired by the end of the night, but I think it was like a day long therapy session. The Tanis family and Sundquists blessed us with an evening of songs and hymns which was the perfect end to the day. Joanne can get her point across, but has a hard time choosing the right words. We were naming fruit from a fruit basket, I held up an orange and she said, "It's an orange." I asked her what color it was and she said, "green?" It's crazy. She'll often get stuck on the same word and can't say anything else. She keeps dismissing it with a laugh and smile though. Everyone who visits her tells her how great she looks, which she does. But I don't recommend the stroke diet, it has a few unwanted side effects. Her right side continues to get stronger. She is starting to get a little grip in her right hand and a little wrist control. Her right arm still needs some work, but it's improving. I think the area which needs the most improvement will be her speech. She will be checking out of Hotel Rehab on Wednesday around 10am and goes straight to speech and OT. We need to speak to the docs to determine how much she will have as an out patient. Please keep the cards and prayers coming. They both have an amazing healing property. I know I need the prayers, because I am really tired and the only way I am getting through this is by being upheld by your prayers. I spend the day going through all the therapy with her and she is often more focused than I am. It seems so small for me to say "thank you" to everyone for all you are doing for us, but just like Jo, I can't find the right words. So for now I'll just say her favorite words: "I believe" and "unbelievable".
Friday, November 16, 2007
Friday, November 16th
Written last night by Paul:
Joanne will be discharged from rehab on Wednesday the 21st! One day before Thanksgiving. We sure have a lot to be thankful for! When she was asked what she eats for Thanksgiving, she said, "fired chicken...no...fried chicken...", she took a pencil and wrote 'turkey', looked at the word and confidently said, "fried chicken!" We all laughed. Thankfully, even when the words won't come out, or the same wrong word comes back over and over, she still laughs. I met her at her PT session this morning where the therapists were teaming up trying to come up with something to really challenge her. She beat them every time. She still leans to the right when she walks and I see a lot of body work being done on the right side of our car once she is back driving, but she is determined to get it done and do it right. On our way back to her room, her roommate was being wheeled down the hall and she said, "Oh, here is my angel." Apparently, the nurse didn't come in time for something and Joanne got up to help her. Keep in mind that she still does not have any use of her right hand and somewhat limited use of her arm. She leans to the right and says the color of a banana is blue, and yet, she can still get herself out of bed and help someone else. Unbelievable.
I brought the kids to see her tonight for the first time since she was in the hospital. It was a little awkward at first, but it quickly changed into a joy-filled time that none of us wanted to end. We were batting a balloon around in the gym and laughing at how she couldn't get out the right words. Her sister Suzan had written out some questions for Jo to practice saying, and we all laughed till we cried as she asked in a comical sing song manner, "So tell me how are your friends? Are you working on any projects? What books are you reading in school? Are you doing all your homework?" It was hilarious.
She will continue to have occupational and speech therapy as an outpatient about three times a week for the next few weeks. I can't wait to have her back home. The drive to Morristown and back each day is getting very tiresome. Please keep praying, because God is answering our prayers each day, several times a day. That is the only thing keeping us going...as well as all the great meals we are receiving, the washing of our clothes (thank you Joanna), the house cleaning, raking leaves, doing homework with the kids each day (thank you Loretta), the maintenance of this blog (thank you Terry), and the hundreds of other things being done to help us. Thank you again for your continued support during this wild ride.
Joanne will be discharged from rehab on Wednesday the 21st! One day before Thanksgiving. We sure have a lot to be thankful for! When she was asked what she eats for Thanksgiving, she said, "fired chicken...no...fried chicken...", she took a pencil and wrote 'turkey', looked at the word and confidently said, "fried chicken!" We all laughed. Thankfully, even when the words won't come out, or the same wrong word comes back over and over, she still laughs. I met her at her PT session this morning where the therapists were teaming up trying to come up with something to really challenge her. She beat them every time. She still leans to the right when she walks and I see a lot of body work being done on the right side of our car once she is back driving, but she is determined to get it done and do it right. On our way back to her room, her roommate was being wheeled down the hall and she said, "Oh, here is my angel." Apparently, the nurse didn't come in time for something and Joanne got up to help her. Keep in mind that she still does not have any use of her right hand and somewhat limited use of her arm. She leans to the right and says the color of a banana is blue, and yet, she can still get herself out of bed and help someone else. Unbelievable.
I brought the kids to see her tonight for the first time since she was in the hospital. It was a little awkward at first, but it quickly changed into a joy-filled time that none of us wanted to end. We were batting a balloon around in the gym and laughing at how she couldn't get out the right words. Her sister Suzan had written out some questions for Jo to practice saying, and we all laughed till we cried as she asked in a comical sing song manner, "So tell me how are your friends? Are you working on any projects? What books are you reading in school? Are you doing all your homework?" It was hilarious.
She will continue to have occupational and speech therapy as an outpatient about three times a week for the next few weeks. I can't wait to have her back home. The drive to Morristown and back each day is getting very tiresome. Please keep praying, because God is answering our prayers each day, several times a day. That is the only thing keeping us going...as well as all the great meals we are receiving, the washing of our clothes (thank you Joanna), the house cleaning, raking leaves, doing homework with the kids each day (thank you Loretta), the maintenance of this blog (thank you Terry), and the hundreds of other things being done to help us. Thank you again for your continued support during this wild ride.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Calling All Kids!!!
In light of the fact that Joanne is not up to having any young visitors just yet, and knowing how much she adores children, I thought it would be a great idea to encourage her art and drama students, as well as all the children near and far who know and love her so much, to contribute to the blog journal. Whether they know her as "Auntie Jo" or "Miss Joanne" or "Mrs. Budd", she loves them all! Even if your child has already made her a special handmade card, please encourage them to type her a note as well. If your child is too young to type, maybe they could tell you what they'd like to say. Paul delivers a daily print-out of blog comments to Joanne each morning. I know she will be so encouraged to read notes from some of her favorite people in the whole world.
http://joannebuddjournal.blogspot.com/
http://joannebuddjournal.blogspot.com/
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